Sometimes I feel so self centered. Last night I signed up for two half iron triathlons. This is no small feat to take lightly. The fees are substantial and non-refundable. And, who's to say that in five and eight months from now I will definitely be able to participate in these events. The mandatory early hotel reservations are also non-refundable. I HAD to make reservations to be sure I had somewhere to stay. One hotel was ALREADY FULL! This triathlon hobby of mine is expensive.
Kathy says "don't complain about how expensive this stuff is to other people because they probably don't have enough money to buy groceries and you will sound ridiculous". She could be right however most of the people that I know can manage their weekly bills and also have some disposable income.
But still, last night it felt indulgent to pursue my athletic goals. I have never felt this way before about a stupid race. Now I feel like, damn, I am so lucky to be able to do this. I feel like I should do community service to give back or something. My consolation is that I have a full time job and work for every penny that I spend so I should have SOME leeway with how I spend it.
It's weird. Now my generosity factor is being tested. I actually received an email from Starbucks asking me to give 5 hours of community service in return for a free cup of coffee. WHAT A DEAL!! OK, OK.. the point is.. this email came at the same time I was feeling like I should give back to the community... weird I say..
At any rate.. this is where I really think I'm being tested. I mean, who has time to give to community service? I'm completely exhausted from working out and working each day. I need a roll model I think because I am a little self absorbed. On second thought maybe that email from Starbucks was a sham and I'm not being asked to give of myself at all... hmmmmmm....